Youth Is Wasted On The Young (funny videos)

September 30th, 2008 admin Posted in comedy |

By Jan Michaels

Growing old does have one benefit … experience. So, I am continuing here to share my vast pool of knowledge. Of course my girlfriend can not resist telling me I need to clean the pool, but heres the list anyway.

1. If you do anything that gets your hands wet, soapy or dirty, your nose WILL itch.

2. When you give your email out anywhere on the internet, you will soon learn all you NEVER wanted to know about body part enhancements.

3. A cat does not love you. It simply allows you to live with it IF you pet, feed and clean the litter box on a regular basis. Otherwise, you are history.

4. Your Co-Workers, on the other hand, DO love you … at least as long as you continue to give them good stuff to talk about when you are not around.

5. You are NOT the master of your fate. Your mother is. And when you get married, your wife is.

6. Life is beautiful .. Life sucks … life is beautiful … life sucks. Repeat as necessary.

7. There is a chip in all cars that keeps them from starting unless you stroke the dashboard correctly and sincerely mean it when you say ..Come on baby .. you can do it.

8. Computers will only work correctly when you do NOT need them to.

9. A kiss is just a kiss, and a smile is just a smile, but a baby is forever.

10. There is no such thing as a ghost that can haunt you … except in your own mind.

11. Nothing is carved in stone … other than what will happen if you forget your significant others birthday or anniversary.

12. No matter how hard you try, you will NEVER be able to fold laundry according to your spouses instructions.

13. Anything you think will happen, will not… and anything you think will not happen, will.

14. Love is a two way street .. unless you are on the freeway and then there may be lots of exits before you get somewhere.

Jan Michaels is the creator of the Article Friendly Script for php & mysql, and can be found at: Article Friendly Article Friendly is Not Encoded, with tons of options, or try my new Serenity Niche Article Publishing Script, Available with Resell Rights!

How to Establish Physical Contact Within the First Three Minutes
By Scott Patterson

Whenever you’re on a date or meeting a woman for the first time, you must know how to build attraction. Without it, you won’t be able to rapport or chemistry.

Now one of the best ways to build intimacy between you and a woman is by establishing physical contact. Once you’ve touched a woman, it’s easy to transition into being intimate and perhaps kissing her.

The problem is establishing physical contact with a woman can be hard thing if you just met her.

Fortunately there are a few different tricks you can use that’ll help you break the touching barrier within the first three minutes of meeting a woman. In the next few minutes, I’ll list 5 different ways you can touch a woman in a non-aggressive manner.

Here we go:

Touch her to emphasize a point

When you’re first in a conversation with a woman, you can quickly break the touching barrier by touching her arm to emphasize a point.

So when you’re having a conversation, you should lightly touch her arm or shoulder as a natural part of the conversation. If it comes across as casual, then you’ll be able to break the barrier without appearing to be creepy or too aggressive.

Do a personality test

There are specific personality tests, like palm reading, where you’re required to touch a woman. What I like about using this technique is you’ve established physical contact while demonstrating a skill to a woman. If you can do this as a natural part of a conversation you’ll raise your value and start holding hands with her at the same time!

Play games with her

Playfulness is an important part of all dating conversations. One thing women look for in a man is a great sense of humor. So it’s important to demonstrate you’re a fun and interesting person.

What this means is you should try acting in a playful manner when during your initial conversation. The key point here is to do things that’ll require touching her.

For instance, you should do things like thumb or arm wrestling (make sure you’re doing this in a mock manner). In addition, you can try doing a few funny things that require you to draw on her arm.

Just remember to keep the mood light-hearted and fun!

Cocky/funny techniques

Cocky/funny is a great way to show both a humorous and slightly arrogant attitude. The idea behind this personality is to do a push/pull on her. On moment you’re saying nice things, then you’re being sarcastic and busting your chops.

A lot of cocky/funny can involve physical contact. For instance you can give her a quick high five, shove her lightly on her shoulder when you’re joking around, or give her bump hip check when you walk by her.

Also if you’re walking together, you can fool around and walk her into things.

Just remember that cocky/funny involves a specific kind of attitude. She must understand that you’re having fun and playing, not that you’re an arrogant jerk.

Do chivalrous things

If you’re on a date, there are many ways to establish physical contact while walking with her. For instance, you could open a door and lead her in with your hand on her lower back.

Another technique is to offer your arm as you’re walking into a place.

Finally if you’re walking through a crowd of people, be the first to go through it. Then offer your hand to guide her through.

Establishing physical contact with a woman should be done within the first few minutes. When you do this quickly, you’ll increase your chances of kissing her and making things more intimate.

If you follow the 5 tips I’ve described in this article, you’ll be able to break the touching barrier in a way that’ll increase attraction and interest.

Want to learn 50 different ways to meet, approach and attract women? If so, take a look at Scott Patterson’s Free eBook which provides 50 tips for approaching, attracting, and dating ANY woman.

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